Hurling's Tactical Terrors

https://www.dropbox.com/s/s7k22n6k9vj3s11/Hurlings%20Tactical%20Terrors.wav?dl=0

I was at a lunch last week. It's what I do nowadays. Well, part of what I do, when I'm not in the office and trying to avoid going to lunches.

It is, it seems, also about as close as I get to the cutting edge of sport these days. Gone are the days smelling whiskey on Trappatoni's breath, telling Shane Long 10 minutes into the interview that we'll have to start again because I didn't have the recorder turned on or Paul McShane telling me for the fourth time (quite firmly this time!) that he doesn't want to answer any more questions about Roy Keane.

Nowadays it's lunches and trying to get back to the office. Luckily at this particular lunch, Limerick hurling manager T.J. Ryan was the guest speaker.

The genesis of the talk was how he was able to manage the Limerick hurling team by night and his company by day.

When the question of tactics came up, TJ said that while Waterford's new defensive style might work in the league, he wasn't as confident it would be successful in championship "when the ground is fast" and presumably the players are all moving a bit quicker too.

It is easy to be critical of that comment now that Waterford have won the league but regardless of how Waterford go (and let's face it, it can't ever get any worse than the All-Ireland Final of 2008), surely what they are doing now is borderline revolutionary in hurling terms.

Derek McGrath has taken a team that are supposedly on the wane and going nowhere and thought, not necessarily about how hurling should be played but how it can be played.

Of course, Waterford have a great crop of young players and some of the big guns are still knocking around but Derek McGrath is still trying to get more out of them than some good performances.

Like McGuinness, Loughnane and hell, even Davy Fitz, Derek McGrath and Dan Shanahan seem to want to win the All-Ireland for Waterford and they are using tactics as a key weapon in that assault on the Liam McCarthy.

T.J. on the other hand spoke of 15 on 15 working for Limerick against Kilkenny last year and how that seems to suit the players but it didn't work against Kilkenny last year because Limerick lost the match.

Limerick gave Kilkenny plenty of it so to speak but then Kilkenny's aging but somewhat better players won the day just as everyone expected. Limerick playing their part as glorious, brave, clear and obvious losers with as little fuss as Richie Hogan displayed in banging in the first goal.

When you haven't been on top for so long, it takes something extra, something special to achieve that. Hurling is a game in which the use of tactics has been almost frowned upon such is Kilkenny's dominance but all that says to me is that the right formula simply hasn't been found yet.

Hopefully Derek McGrath and Waterford will be rewarded for their efforts even all the way into September.

Hoping The Underdog Loses

Gilesy made an interesting point on Off The Ball the other night. 
He said that he has never gone in for this thing of rooting for the underdogs. I've always had a soft spot for the underdog and I thought that everybody did. 


Then Gilesy started giving it all it all this and that about how the top players produce it week in, week out and that's why they are the top players. The underdogs meanwhile are simply not as good and the fact that have it in them to occasionally produce a big performance only leads to the question why they don't play like that all the time. 


Roy Keane has said similar such things in the past and so there and then, listening to Off The Ball on Thursday night I completely changed my mind about always backing the underdog. I had no sympathy for Scotland this morning in spite of their valiant effort and I didn't really care that Tonga had miraculously beaten France so why did I ever feel the need to back the underdog in the first place. 


No matter how talented a team or a player is or conversely how untalented a team is, you still have to produce it on the day. It's also not strictly true to say that the better players are better simply because they worked harder, natural talent goes a hell of a long way as well. 


The underdog might even be the Champion of tomorrow, like the Clare hurlers in the 1990's. That group of players probably were more focused than any team that went before them and Loughnane did to a large extent revolutionise how teams were prepared.
  
The great thing about sport (and life indeed) is that having more resources and being more talented can still be overcome by using what you've got to the best of your ability. Though I suppose ultimately Gilesy is right, even that depends on the top dogs taking their eye off the ball. 

Ireland And A Cricket Match Made In Heaven

I didn't see much of the cricket the other night. Presumably you know what I mean when I talk about the cricket and the other night.

I didn't watch it for a number of reasons:

1. I happen to live with the Corko-Scottish Anti-Cricket Alliance who vetoed the game in favour of forcing me to sit through an episode of "Embarrassing Bodies" which involved a guy with a leaky willy and some woman who appeared to have drank far too much cider over the years getting crowns on her teeth a la Matt Dillon in There's Something About Mary. I'm not sure which freaked me out more.
2. After England's performances throughout the Ashes and the draw against India (generally accepted prior to the Ireland game as the best game of one day cricket ever), I thought there may have been some embarrassing bodies on the Irish team by the end.
3. Like any other sporting event I am even remotely interested in, it was on too late in Australia and I had to go to bed- the bastards. Whenever anyone goes back they always say one of the best things is to be able to watch sports "at a reasonable hour" which I always find odd because I never hear anyone under 60 talk about the reasonable hour. Nothing it seems ages the bronzed pissed up Irishman in Australia like getting up at 4 o'clock on a Tuesday the morning to watch Man U vs. Wigan.

Luckily I did catch one over. Kevin Pieterson was at the crease and looking like he was going to make the Ireland team go the way of it's economy.

KP is that kind of a player. He's just ruthless. The more vulnerable a bowler or no matter how far ahead England may be, Pieterson just preys on such opportunism and takes real pleasure out of putting a struggling opposition firmly in its place just as he did with his double century against a bumbling Australia in Adelaide during the Ashes.

You could sense that Pieterson was gearing himself up for a similar innings here. Arguably the most charismatic batsman of his generation, KP just steps into the ball and smashes it mercilessly towards the boundaries.

KP was 59 not out when I tuned in and up stepped this fat, balding, little Irish guy (no, I'm not talking about myself in the third person) to take him on. I'd obviously never heard of him, he was an Irish cricketer for God's sake and he looked like one of those guys I used to mark when I'd get thrown in at corner-forward in the West Junior B Junior Hurling League back home.

Cricket is an unforgiving sport. Whether batting or bowling, there is nowhere to hide. If you don't bowl to a world class standard against a player like Pieterson on a roll, you could well be smashed on live television in front of many millions of people.

I'm not sure how the Irishman felt about it but I can tell you this would be quite a terrifying experience for most Junior B Hurlers, let alone one just about holding his own at corner back.

Now maybe KP got complacent (he has a tendency to do) but I suspect it was actually down to some world class spin. Our man bowled a slow one at Kev without causing him any problems. KP would wait his chance.

It was a glorious wicket, KP's always is but this was even better. Kev tried to just flick the ball behind him for four, edged it and the wicketkeeper said thanks very much. Bang! Or ah, as the BBC put it "slightly off balance as he attempted a reverse sweep to off-spinner Sitrling, he simply dabbed the ball into the air, gifting wicketkeeper Niall O'Brien the simplest of catches...." Bang! (I'll never make a cricket reporter anyway, that's for sure).

Then it was back to Embarrassing Bodies, off to bed and I presumed that KP getting out would be as good as it got. It continued to look that way too with Ireland chasing 327 and being 5 for 111 at one point. It did not bode well until amazingly, what happened next, actually happened.

Would it be the equivalent of a Liverpool team containing Djimi Traore and Vladmir Smicer being 3-0 down against Milan in Istanbul? Is it the same as a lethargic Offaly team 6 points down with 5 minutes to go against a relentless Limerick in the 1994 All-Ireland final?

Because just then a previously unknown (now over-night sensation) Kevin O'Brien hit the fastest ever century in the history of World Cup cricket. He hit his second fifty in fewer balls than the first one. Ireland eventually completing the biggest run chase in One day history to win by three wickets. It turns out O'Brien is Steven Gerrard after all, and Johnny Dooley all rolled into one. Hell, he's even Jim Troy and Jerzy Dudek. Fuck it, just plain old Roy of the Rovers. Bang!

It's difficult to distill the greatness of the game of cricket. I think what me interested initially was the passion followers of the game have for it.

It started when I visited India and everywhere I went kids were just happily playing cricket on the streets day and night. It reminded me of home before everyone got swept away by all this Celtic Tiger bullshit and bought 4x4's when we used to play hurling and soccer all the time. It never occurred to us that there was anything else you could be doing.

It was the same when I came to Australia, people loved cricket in the same way I loved hurling. Not because it was popular but it meant something, like the bat (as personal to a cricketer as a hurley to the hurler) was an extension of your arm and so the game was part of who you were.

It was full of great stories and it's heroes like Ring and Mackey were spoken of with mythical reverence in the folklore of the game. Warnie's ball of the century, Muralitheran, downing 55 cans of XXXX on the plane to England, the underarm ball, Brian Lara, Viv Richards, The Master, Ricky Ponting and yes, Warne again.

Even the Irish team had the good sense to celebrate their victory against England like a team of nobodies who'd just pulled off the the heist of the century and went on the beer until seven o'clock the next morning. Ireland's been losing it's sense of fun of late and it was heartening that these guys know to celebrate the big days and live in the moment. A bit like Jackie's Army way back when.

They've got India next. The equivalent of playing AC Milan with Ciaran Carey and Davey Clarke on board. Cricket and Ireland have never really gone together but it is a game of high drama, no little skill and like any good sport it enriches the lives of those who play.

This week the Irish Cricket team and Kevin O'Brien in particular turned everyone's perceptions on its head of Cricket, favouritism and our expectations of just what it is we can achieve.

Carpe Diem and never give up.

Interview with Tommy Walsh (St. Kilda/Kerry) - Kerry's latest AFL export embracing professional life down under

Kerry's former young footballer of the year (2008) Tommy Walsh made his Aussie Rules Football debut in St Kilda colours last Friday night (18 February) in the NAB Cup pre season tournament in Melbourne. The Greatest Sports Show on Earth sent it's intrepid and sporadic sports reporters Eoin Casey and Kieran O'Donovan on a tram out to St Kilda to catch up with and gauge the progress of the GAA's most high profile recent export.

Australian Rules football is the dominant religion in multicultural Melbourne. It hogs the airwaves, the back pages, the middle pages, and sure enough even the front pages occasionally with the latest player/agent controversy. Compare rugby in Christchurch, street hoops in Harlem, or say, Gaelic football in Kerry.

Tommy Walsh set out a few months over a year ago from Tralee, all-Ireland medal safely packed away in the rucksack to have a crack at a new code and on invitation to make a profession of his game. Thing is, it's not his game, its really quite different. For his freshman season, he slunk off determinedly to earn the stripes in the modest environs of the Victorian Football League (VFL) with St Kilda's feeder outfit, Sandringham. Think club as opposed to intercounty championship. He worked hard, alternated between defender and forward as directed, and managed to end the season a respectable 7th in the "Best and Fairest" for the lower level club.

Last Friday night, St Kilda's rested superstar Nick Riewoldt introduced his new Irish colleague to the watching television public and spoke of Tommy’s heritage and of the club's excitement at their powerful Irish prospect. They obviously got the tip off as to the footballing blueblood coursing through his veins. Dad Sean's haul of seven all-Irelands firmly inscribed the family name into the annals of Kerry greats and now kid brother Barry John seems to have set his sights on stepping seamlessly into Tommy's kingdom boots to add weight to the next generation's charge. The question is can he make it in the oval ball code or will Walsh be back before long to offer a sibling double-whammy to the kingdom's full forward line? Time will tell but he's starting to make his mark at St Kilda.

How did he feel about a solid debut in the full backline in the Saints singlet at Etihad Stadium for the the NAB Cup first up round robin clash with Essendon and Brisbane?

"Yea just good to get out and to finally put on the jersey with the senior lads I hadn't played with. It's a nice stadium and I'd never played under a roof... You were watching it all last year so it was good to get out there... Yerra I did grand, I'd no mess ups"

And Nick Riewoldt's introduction?

"I mark Nick a bit in training. I don’t know why they put me on him but...it’s good to get that experience... you're marking one of the best in the competition every week so..."

Great experience, surely no better backline apprenticeship than to shadow marquee forward Riewoldt. So has he won a few over him in training?

"(laughs) Well, if its in the air you're not really allowed contest with him in case you'd hurt him...they tend to blow it up if there's any chance of a bad clash... if you were walking backwards or whatever after the ball..."

Is he happy with his progress to date, things going to plan?

"I didn't really know what my progress was going to be. I'd love to be playing every week but I have to realise that I'm in probably the second best if not the best team in the competition with a very strong squad. When someone gets injured there's always a senior guy ready to go in so, you know, look, I feel fine and I feel that I've got to the level where I can play in the AFL but it's just a case of waiting for the opportunity and being ready for it when it comes."

He's in the list for Saturday night's game with Geelong in the next round of the NAB cup and hoping to make another appearance, at least as substitute and to "build on last week and try to put in a good performance and show the coaches that I'm ready to play. I suppose I got a bit of a hunger for it last week so, it'll be good to get back out there".

But is it frustrating playing in the back pocket (full back line) given that he was one of the GAA's star forwards?

"Well it’s a bit different to Gaelic football really and I've been playing at the back mostly and I’m comfortable there...Obviously I'd like to be up kicking a few goals but, you know, hopefully as my game builds maybe I'll get a chance to go up there".

Ross Lyon, St Kilda coach, was hinting at trying him in various positions before the two game matchup but in the end he played out almost the entirety of both at back pocket.

"Yea well, I don’t know, maybe he felt I was doing grand so he just left me there...At Sandringham I was (alternated) between the backs and the forward line the whole time. I suppose the more positions you can play the more useful you are to the team."

So what is his best position?

"Well at the moment its back, that’s where I've played most of my football...Tadhg (Kennelly) plays back as well but, who knows, maybe as my game develops maybe I can go forward or maybe some other positions."

Does he tend to be in touch with Tadhg often?

"I do, I was talking to him today actually, (laughs) I dunno is he bored or what... He's got a knee injury at the moment so...he's been through everything that I'm going through so he's a good man to bounce stuff off and he gives me tips and, what to expect, and tricks to help and stuff..."

What was his take on spending his entire rookie season playing VFL football at Sandringham in front of small crowds at modest venues throughout the state, light years from the glamour of a packed MCG or Etihad stadium or Croker for that matter?

"Well as I said I didn't really have any expectations coming over here so...I knew pretty early on that it was going to be hard to get a game for St Kilda and I always had hopes of playing but, you just have to kindof spend your time there, and at the end of the day that's a stepping stone up to the AFL so you have to try and do as well as you can there. I enjoyed my time there as well. There was some bad (Victorian winter) conditions in games in places like Ballarat...my first few games were a different experience and as it went on I felt more comfortable."

How is he dealing with the professional aspect of aussie rules life?

"Well, like that’s probably the biggest thing I came out here for, just to be able to..." The GAA training would be considered similar, almost full time? "Yea, it’s just that, I suppose here you get the chance to recover and prepare for training much more than you do at home. After training here we can go for ice baths, we can do stretching and all that, whereas, you know, when you're down in Killarney and fellas have to drive to Limerick and Cork they just want to get back after training... and that's the main difference."

And the schedule?

"Some days you could be in there from 8am to 5 or 6 so...and you're basically on call 24/7...they could text you at 9pm and say they want you in at 5am so you just have to cop it on the chin and go in...now that happens rarely but, you just have to be ready when they call upon you but we do get a fair bit of free time as well which is good... There's training days and 'off-legs' days, training days would be 2 days out from a game and 2 days before that again...in the morning you get physio or whatever then we train at 2pm...The other days...you're 'off-legs' which would be a bike, box, whatever and then you do a bit of weights, so you're in there 6 days a week basically."

Is it more enjoyable training as a full time professional?

"It is yeah, it’s full on when you're in there, the meetings and the training...but you get extra time away from the club as well."

How does it compare to Kerry championship training and has it been tough, a bit of a surprise?

"With Kerry you get so many weeks to prepare for a game that you train hard for 3 weeks and then the week before the game you completely ease off whereas here there's a week between every game so we train pretty hard in between games so it was probably a bit of a surprise."

Does he enjoy the marketing side of it, travelling to schools weekly to train kids and push the game?

“We go out every week to primary schools and community centres to help out…it’s great…we’d be doing it anyway but it’s in our contracts as well and the kids love it…along with other things…the GAA could learn from it all on the marketing and other sides.”

So the professional aspect was a big draw?

"That's it, it’s the lifestyle and, you know, being in Australia as well, it’s not a bad country to be in, especially with the way home is, it’s so bad at the moment"

Is homesickness an issue at all?

“It depends on how you’re going as well, if you’re playing games and doing well I suppose it isn’t as big a factor but if you’re not doing well and you feel you’re getting left out you can kindof get homesick and start missing people a lot more. But I’m lucky ‘cos I get to go home twice a year, my family get to come out. My parents are out now in 3 weeks time…”

Down’s Ross Carr recently spoke about the benefits for young GAA players of travelling down under to switch codes, however temporary, in developing further as athletes and as footballers. Does Tommy agree and might he possibly add further weight to the theory?

“Well every guy that’s gone back has been a better footballer for it, so you know, I’d like to think that when I go back eventually it’ll have benefitted me… I think that over here, you realise that your body can get to a different level of fitness than we are at home, ‘cos the training out here is unbelievable… in terms of fitness and strength…and there’s the whole mental side of things. We talk a lot about mental toughness over here and you know, you could see that with Tadhg Kennelly when he went home, some of the stuff that he went through... But he was always able to come back stronger for it and I suppose that’s the mark of a professional.”

What’s his honest opinion of the game (AFL) generally, it can be messy at times and hard to watch?

“I think, at the highest level it’s a great game but, you know, I think Gaelic football is a better game personally… I think if Gaelic football was professional… I think that would go to a whole new level.”

Does he think there are many Gaelic football players who could reach the standards of the likes of Dane Swan (Collingwood) or his own teammates Brendon Goddard or Nick Riewoldt?

“Well, skill wise definitely there would be… I actually think Gaelic football is a more skilful game but these guys (AFL) get the training with it as well…I think there’s definitely fellas capable of reaching the same level but we just don’t have the same level of training at home, and, someone like Brendon Goddard does it every day whereas, someone like Gooch (Colm Cooper) doesn’t, so, if he was… How good would he be?”

Tommy doesn’t know what he would be doing if he were still at home, the days of the high profile county player being accommodated locally by employers may be fading?

“Yea, there’s no guarantees any more. On the other hand, there’s things here… Whether I decide to go to university or do a trade, they look after you. There’s money put into a retirement fund every year for you… They look after you when you finish whereas, with Gaelic football, you play for ten years and you mightn’t have anything for it, only a couple of friends…”

Speaking of which, he stays in contact with the other Irish imports in Oz?

“Yea I’m in touch with Setanta [O’Hailpin] last weekend actually… He’s opening a pub out here… Cork jersey up on the wall so (laughs) its hard to walk in there but… and Conor Meredith, who was out here and a few more… and Tadhg of course, we stay in touch a bit alright and learn from each other...we’re all on different schedules so it’s hard to meet up but…”

On return from a sojourn back home post season last year taking in the International Rules games, he moved in with St Kilda teammate Will Johnson, with whom he's rooming for the coming year. How did he rate the International Rules series this year and did he enjoy it personally?

“I really enjoyed it, just getting to know guys from different counties and just getting back kicking a round ball, and, to get to play in Croke Park again was something that I really missed last year… I suppose we were a bit disappointed in the end having played so poorly in the first game but it was a good series… I think people are always going to be giving out about it but, at the end of the day you can bring it to Croke Park and nearly fill it so that shows that the interest is there for it.”

He reluctantly grants the rebels their dues in finally summiting at headquarters.

“Look I think Cork were the best team in the country last year…they’ve been there for a few years and they deserved it… They can be underrated and I think they showed everyone last year what a good team they are...”

And Kerry’s shock exit to Down?

“Well, like Kerry were obviously missing Tomas (O’ Se) and Paul (Galvin)… they got off to a terrible start… I suppose with such a run, I think Kerry had never lost a quarter final, maybe there might have been a bit of complacency I don’t know but..."

Is the writing on the wall for this Kerry team?

“People say that they’re an ageing team with a lot of people gone but there’s still huge hunger there like… when you’ve guys like Colm Cooper, Kieran Donaghy and Declan O’Sullivan… there’s match winners in every line…”

Barry John, brother and the among the latest off the Kingdom assembly line is putting a case for selection for the championship. Are they in touch?

“I suppose he’s one of my best friends really so I talk to him all the time yea...he’s going ok in it, there’s tough training and so much competition for places as well you know…”

If he was to look back in 15/20 years at his time in Australia, what would he like to have achieved?

“Just that I’ve no regrets really, that I’ve come out here and given it the best shot that I could. That’s why I came out here, I didn’t want to be sitting at home in 10 years time saying I could’ve gone, I could’ve been an AFL player… I know now, whether it happens or not, I can say that I gave it my best shot and that it either worked out or it didn’t…there’s a long way to go yet though.”

And the heat in Australia. Is it a factor, even though Melbourne can be more akin to Mayo in Winter?

“I remember we played games last year with Sandringham in conditions I’ve never played in at home… waterlogged pitches… there’s never a bad day in ‘Home and Away’ I suppose when you’re watching it but…"

Finally, what prospect of him doing a 'Tadhg' on it and returning home to win another all-Ireland medal in the coming years?

“I think Tadhg is the luckiest bastard of all time (laughs)… that’s the fairly tale isn’t it, to go back and win…I still have things left to do with Kerry and with my club, Kerins O’Rahillys…they’re the people that got me to where I was before I left…I still have things I’d love to achieve in football yea.”

For those of us born fortunate enough to worship late summer in green and gold at the shrine of Croker, Tommy’s travels promise much.

What to do about Diving in football?

Any ideas Lucas?

AS a general rule the Australians hate soccer and every time I bring it up, they talk about the cheating Italians at the 2006 World Cup.

Some sneaky greaseball took a dive in the penalty box in the last minute of the last 16 to give Italy a penalty, the lead and subsequently the game. There was no time for a comeback and Australia were out.

I always tell the Aussies "tough shit" and "that's football". I've always been a big believer of 'the ball is round, the game is 90 minutes' (Der Ball ist rund und ein Spiel daurt 90 minuten) and the 'After the game is before the game' (which for some reason makes way more sense in it's original German- Nach dem Spiel ist vor dem Spiel- I think the sense of it is that the past doesn't matter, it's what you do next that counts) philosophy in football and in life so you can't really go bitching and moaning when things don't go your way.

I would go so far as to say that the beauty of football is that it can be terribly cruel and unfair making it all the more reason to take your chances when they arise. Playing well or being good simply isn't enough.

I admire FIFA for at the very least not overly interfering with the rules of the game even if they do their best to destroy it in every other way. They have made efforts to make the game more sporting to point where it's almost unsettling to watch so many kids walking around holding hands with strange men but obviously someone somewhere is buying it. Probably the Arabs who are backing the whole business of football these days. It's still commonplace today in Arabic cultures for grown to hold hands in public. I'm not sure the policy will fly at the Catholics Priests World Cup.

Ironically (and I'm pretty sure this is irony and not merely a coincidence because FIFA's efforts to clean up the game have actually made it more dishonest) I think that it is FIFA's desire to clean up the game which has made it more susceptible to cheating.

Way back in the day, when men were men all the good teams had hard men like Souness, Mattheus, Stiles, all the Argentinians and the list goes on. These guys didn't always get the credit but their ability to "quieten" the more gifted ball players on the other side was often the difference between winning and losing.

This led to calls that the game needed to be cleaned up and that the good players need to be protected by the officials and allowed to play because that's what the people want to see. I'm not sure if by "people" what was really meant was audiences or that advertisers wanted their product associated more with some dinky winger rather than the likes of Norman "Break Your Legs" Hunter.

You can't argue with that of course and so it was that FIFA changed the way the game was played.

If I was to pin-point that change I would put it down to the period between the end of the 1990 World Cup (generally considered the worst of all time, though to my 7 years old eyes, it was and remains a glorious time) and the beginning of the English Premier League in 1992.

The Premier League made football a marketable commodity and despite attendances holding steady or in many cases even falling with the introduction of all seater stadiums, the focus on the game became greater than ever before. There was so much money in the game (by way of the TV deals and all the incidental revenue streams which flowed from that) that suddenly there were more photographers, cameras, reporters, tv shows about the games than ever before. The game was omnipresent, you couldn't get away from it.

It was around this time (as I remember it, not that too much about what happened before that. I was 10 after all), players seemed to start getting injured much more easily. They would stay down and a physio would come on with the 'magic sponge' and the player would slowly get to his feet and suddenly he was miraculously cured. Players started falling like they had been shot and rightly the argument was put that if a player went down so dramatically in other sports there is no way they would be able to continue yet in soccer, they nearly always played on.

You didn't need to be a cynical bastard such my ten year old self to conclude that the players were simply cheating. That they were feigning injury and often fouls in order to waste time, win a free kick or penalty or to get their opponent booked or sent off.

In the old days, there was no such play acting. It's always interesting today watching Glenn Hoddle (the pranciest of all the great players) at the 1982 World Cup with his socks around his angles, no shin pads and dodging tackles like they were landmines.

There was a very deliberate effort by FIFA to cut this perceived type of dirty play but it simply had the effect of swinging the pendulum too far in favour of the attacking player. A simple solution would be a straight red card for diving. Yes, it would lead to the odd injustice but it would also encourage players to stay on their feet.

Why this hasn't been introduced I don't know but until such rule changes are introduced, players will continue to dive with impunity (a yellow card is a waste of time) but hey, them's the rules so take your chances and don't have your fate determined by a gamey continental and a dodgy referee.

As for that dark sunny day for Australia in Kaiserslautern. That's football.

Asia Cup/ The sacking of Andy Gray-

Asia Cup

It's a sad day for football when we're talking about famous nights in Doha. Qatar is not even potentially a footballing hotbed. It's a country of 1.5 million people and last night it hosted the Asian Cup final.

How has it happened that such a small sandy state (which has never produced even so much a reserve in any of the world's top leagues) has suddenly become the future of football.

I would guess that the arabs are so rich from selling oil that they've been able to buy their way to the top of the diplomatic football ladder. It's the only explanation.

It's a shocker and another indication of the stunning inequalities which exist in the world. Maybe someone should invade Qatar, redistribute the world cup to a more deserving nation and relieve the arabs of their oil and the profits.

How did it happen that the world let a few arabs in a few desert ridden regions across the middle east control so much of the worlds wealth without showing even the slightest bit of inventiveness, creativity, tactical nous, heart, desire, passion and now we're letting these same people take over our game as well.

It is sad indeed. 

Andy Gray

I don't think anyone is particularly heartbroken by Andy Gray's sacking. I don't think there has ever been any doubt about his knowledge of the game (though there is I think some justified scepticism over trying to predict the outcome by moving arrows around the screen).

He was never liked either though- certainly not by Liverpool fans. He famously said at half time of the 2005 Champions League with all the relish of the toffee bastard that he is that "it's all over now and I hate saying that". You didn't really Andy you loved it and in some ways, that's why you were such a watchable old fucker because you were old school and you were football.

You understood the rivalries and what's more is that you believed in them in spite of yourself. Unfortunately the game changed and you did not keep up with those changes.

It is possible that you also mistook your workplace for a dressing room and that you treated your colleagues as you might have an apprentice back in the day, thereby making enemies for yourself of people  who can work technology and don't care what your standing is within the game.

Nevertheless your sacking was harsh and unwarranted but I guess if we scratched the surface a little bit, we'd have found that most people didn't really like you and so you had to go. In football, it's ok to be disliked. Oftentimes, it is even a positive but in work, the very same type of behaviour can get you sacked.

Jerzey Dudek- Save of the century?

Why Me, Lance?

There he is, on the telly staring right back at me as I lay panned out on the couch watching the news for about the fourth time that day. Lance is sitting in a news conference looking sombre and serious as ever talking about Jim Stynes and fighting cancer. I feel a tinge of guilt but I keep watching. The soccer is coming up and watching Lance with all his determination might even motivate me to do something later (it didn't, unless you call watching back to back episodes of "Dexter" something).

Lance doesn't look too happy but then it cuts to a clip of him being asked about Paul Kimmage and I can see why. I know I would be annoyed if people followed me all over the world asking me if I was taking performance-debilitating drugs ("PDD's").

Lance is big box office. For the cycling press, he's their ticket to the news pages. He is American, outspoken, he's won the Tour de France, what, a million times and he's even beaten cancer. Before Lance came along, most Tour de France winners didn't speak a word of the Queen's.

Lance has never been found guilty of taking performance enhancing drugs ("PED's" not to be confused with PDD's above). If Lance was tried in a Kangaroo court, he would probably be convicted because it looks like he takes PED's, he walks like he takes PED's and he quacks like he takes PED's.

There are countless testimonies from ex-teammates, spurned business partners, officials, you name it, all lining up to confirm that Lance openly talked about using drugs, that he carried around syringes and unprescribed packets of drugs. There are positive A-samples (but no B samples). Circumstantially it doesn't look good.

Other Tour winners of Lance's generation, Jan Ulrich, Floyd Landis and now Alberto Condator have all been suspended for the use of PED's (although in Condator's case, he claims it was cough medicine- not terribly original, which means it could possibly be true or maybe the greasy Spaniard is just trying to outwit us). Armstrong's former mechanic Mike Anderson says that Lance simply said that "everyone does it".

Michelle Smith taught us simple Irish folk that if it looks too good to be true then it probably is. So if Lance is knee deep in PED's, then why hasn't he been caught and if he's not, then why won't the stories go away?

The press love him for one thing. He brings millions into the sport in sponsorship. Livelihoods depend on the Lance Armstrong phenomenon. Even now, in the twilight of his career, he's given a heroes welcome in Australia. The drugs question is asked, Lance has no comment and the hero-worship can continue unabated. He is celebrated in newspapers and magazines, while thousands of riders turn out to support him on a charity cycle.

As the English speaking press go, it really only seems to be my compatriots David Walsh and Kimmage who are up on their high horse about Lance.

The testers can't catch everyone. If they did, there would be no one left. It's possible to avoid being tested. One thing that struck me while reading 'It's Not About The Bike' was how Lance would prepare for the Tour by avoiding competition and people, just training in seclusion in the mountains somewhere a la Smith.

It's always been the case that the PED industry being relatively sparsely populated, the testers and dealers are often the same people or at least, design is more lucrative than enforcement helping the athletes keep one step ahead of the testers.

Could it be that no one (Walsh and Kimmage aside) really cares about the integrity of sport or whether Lance did or didn't take anything?

It sure as shit looks like it based on the reception he has received in Australia from the press and public alike. It's one thing to cheat or break the rules (if everyone else is doing it, then can it really be called cheating?) but it's another to lie about it. Again, not totally Lance's fault. If he doesn't lie, he will be called a cheat and hung out to dry by the very same people who fall at his feet today.

Yet if all the cyclists were on PED's, then it's not really cheating is it? It's not like he took a dive in the penalty box or messed with a competitor's breaks. He was just trying to level the playing field. The problem is if you abhor cheating, then you shouldn't play along. You should quit like Paul Kimmage did (though whether he would have quit if he'd been a contender is another story).

Lance didn't. He saw that the sport was dirty and he jumped into the mud. Cycling is a great sport because it is visually so spectacular and it will always have an audience. Where there is a market, there will always be those looking to exploit it. It's human nature. In a sense it's not the riders fault, it just the nature of the game.

The career of a sportsman is short, there are no second chances. People like Lance Armstrong don't have time to be crusaders for cycling. He is an athlete with a burning desire to win, not a martyr. Why don't you just do what you do best Lance and win races? Let other people deal with morality and regulations. That's what Lance did, hell it's what we'd all do if we had the talent and commitment to the sport like he did. Cancer he can fight for the rest of his days.

It's just when you see so many other people complicit in protecting him, parading him as a champion of humanity, it makes me think that if those same otherwise good people can turn a blind eye to cheating as obvious as Lance Armstrong's, what other lies are we capable of embracing?

On the other hand, there is always Jim Stynes.

‘Galvinised’ – an Intimate Portrait of a Kerry Rebel in Search of a Cause

He probably wouldn’t appreciate the title given his lengthy rap sheet of Cork sourced woes but it scratches at the heart of this fascinating, if at times aimless, documentary on the GAA’s foremost ‘pantomine villain’. Paul Galvin the fashionista. Paul Galvin the radio dj, the bored teacher, the victimised footballer, the troubled soul, the redemption man. Paul Galvin the outsider in the kingdom GAA fishbowl in search of his destiny.

I’m one of the latest to flee down under but I had to catch ‘Galvinised’ a week or two after hearing all the fuss from home on the social networks and online paper reports. On first watch, the misplaced focus on his fashion conscious and, to a lesser extent, on his overriding victim complex lend the whole thing a certain cringe factor. Perhaps that comes from my own North Kerry background and the anticipation of what the terrace pundits and streethacks who stand in judgment will have in store in the months to come. But he comes off as thoughtful and self-aware, however considerable the ego that drives him. Galvin will stand tall amidst the abuse. He’s become practised at his own private brand of game focused oblivion on championship Sundays over recent years. The pathetic petty jibes doing the rounds on the web boards merit little consideration. In truth, few with even a passing interest in the GAA would deny that he’s an interesting character who enlightens our games.

I recall a county league match some years back of limited relevance at my own club grounds. We played host to Galvin’s Finuge on a drizzly afternoon in spring, light years away from the glitz of the Big Apple or a September Sunday at Croker. He was out injured at the time but showed up as the consummate clubman and cut a lonely figure on the fringe of the opposition dugout. Isolation. It struck me back then that this guy neither fitted nor embraced the stereotype.

On the one hand, his love for the game and the scene surrounding it is unquestionable. He subscribes to it wholeheartedly and lives for it like many in the Kingdom. To see him speak passionately on his experience of Lixnaw hurling club and on his sense of guilt towards his County teammates underlines this. On the other hand, the GAA culture in Kerry and indeed on a wider scale, is undoubtedly homogenous and narrow-minded. In an environment where you might find yourself labelled gay for having the temerity to take the field displaying more than three months hair growth, the rank and file are loath to accept a skinny jeans clad poser with highfalutin aspirations towards fashin and meeja and the like.

Paul Galvin is an outsider. The label as GAA’s bad boy is something of a self-fulfilling prophesy given his overtly aggressive approach in his formative years on the county scene. Give a dog a bad name and so forth. He appears to, consciously or otherwise, seek out causes. He feels victimised by the powers that be and frustrated at his dependence ‘on the integrity of opponents’. The documentary may well have been aimed partly at changing our perception of him and it probably succeeds, to some extent. The next time the CCC sit in judgment on the selective ramblings of the CSI Sunday Game cast, perhaps they’ll offer our bearded tattoo clad demon the benefit of the doubt. Time will tell.

Another present cause is style and fashion and the minor line in radio work. You get the sense, however, that at heart this is a character in search of something to set him apart. The metrosexual thing is pretty irrelevant. Have a stroll down the CBD in any major city under here in Oz and he’d fall in like a spray-on-jeans soldier. But he feels uncomfortable at the curious stares of staff and students at the Sem in Killarney and on the streets of his home county. He’s dabbled in teaching but it’s no longer for him. He’s torn between a love for his native county’s game and the struggles in rowing against the tide in small town rural Ireland. Galvin is an amateur sports star dealing with the pressures of a distinctly professional brand of fame.

Which brings us to a familiar theme in GAA circles. The big bad P word. There’s a certain irony and hypocrisy in how our subject has on the one hand actively courted the media attentions usually associated with professional athletes and on the other hand rages against the intrusions. But far be it for a career challenged Kerryman to be swanning off to rehab in LA a la messers Rooney or Ben Cousins and the likes at first hint of a personal crisis. While he clearly exhibits traces of the arrogance and self-importance more characteristic of the overpaid overindulged band of millionaires cross channel, there is no getting away from the real world in the GAA. Whether he lives to regret skipping the surefooted teaching post in these tough times remains to be seen.

There are a small number of high profile GAA stars for whom the glare of the media attention quite clearly crosses the line beyond what any play-for-the-love-of-it sportsperson should endure. Galvin clearly falls into that category. There was the tabloid coverage of his classroom duster incident some years back, through the headline news coverage of slaprefgate to the Exposé myth and the phonecalls home and to work. He’s seems genuinely irked by it all. To be fair to the man, it seems more a case of the proverbial horse being dropped in the water rather than lead to the edge to indulge of its own accord. Small scale Irish fame/infamy has sought out Paul Galvin and now he’s seeking to use it to his own end. He’s just not quite sure yet what that end is.

So who are we to sit in judgment on a dedicated amateur star taking his first tentative bambiesque steps in the pool of national celebrity? It could turn out to be a hollow and cruel world but he has the platform and the liathroidi. Give him his dues. Certain sections in our society still scorn our national heritage games as backward bogball and stickball when in reality the GAA is one of the few things we can still be proud of in these depressed times. This is why the association can only gain from such characters, however deluded or self absorbed they might or might not be. As in every facet of life, change is inevitable and should be embraced. Last year we had the wonderful spectrum of Donal Og blazing the trail for homosexual sportsmen from his unpaid vantage in a small island on the Western fringes of Europe, a brave and progressive act way beyond so many of far higher profile and influence overseas.

A proud Kerry footballer need not forever fit the politician style yerra blank blank etc hollow rhetoric seemingly intrinsic since Paidi’s era. The GAA should actively encourage this form of self-promotion where it finds a market. The days of the guaranteed public service or banking job for the County star may be at an end and if pay for play is off the cards why not use the ’professional’ profile for personal gain? He does his share for charity lest the naysayers forget. Best of luck Paul. Before you head off for the big smoke and the bright lights, just give us one more lift off Sam will ya, with a Tyrone scalp in tow? Your final cause on the football field.

Is Wayne Bridge being a bit too precious?

John Terry's friends certainly seem to think he is. At least that what was the report in the Guardian said on Friday morning. Bridge had just announced that he was pulling out of the England squad because he thought his presence would be a distraction. "Sources close to Terry" suggested that Bridge was a bottler and always had been.

I must say I had pondered this suggestion myself with the information I had read on the internet, by internet I mean some soccer websites I frequent and not women's magazines. I prefer to call it information rather than facts. It is those rumours and innuendos which inform my opinions. The facts are anyone's guess.

The information I have is that Wayne Bridge and his ex-girlfriend (let's call her the "underwear model") broke up about this time last year. This coincided with his big move to Man City but that doesn't seem to be connected. Then in September, John Terry stepped in to Bridge's shoes so to speak and had an affair with Bridge's ex. The trouble started when they were photographed leaving a house near Terry's other house. You know you're rich when you have one house for your family and another for your mistresses. No matter what way you look at it, it's hard to feel sorry for these guys because you only have these problems if you're filthy rich and go around shagging supermodels.

John Terry having affairs is not big news in itself. He has been the subject of quite a few kiss and tell stories in the tabloids. A bit of like Tiger Woods. Very similar to Tiger really, except Tiger was better at covering it up, until he got caught and his wife chased him into a tree with a golf club. It's a lucky for John that Toni Terry is more forgiving and prefers to take out her anger on the shopping malls in Dubai.

Let's try to stick to the information. After the papers told Terry that they had these photos, he applied for an injunction to prevent their publication. I'd call the the photos incriminating but that would be an exaggeration. Sleeping with underwear models is very much a legal activity. Although in my case it could be called 'so unlikely it's criminal'.

Terry argued that the photos were an invasion of his human right to privacy and no one had a right to know his business. On appeal the court held that the right to free speech outweighed his right to privacy and the story could be published.

I don't know if the judgment itself was also a one liner but that was how it was reported. The relationship between Bridge and Terry has been given broadly defined in the media from just plain old former teammates to best friends and now it would appear former best friends.

In defence of the underwear model whose name has escaped me and you will forgive me I'm sure if I don't google her, she was broken up with the Bridgey by the time she hooked up with the centre back. I stand to be corrected here but surely on breaking up with a chick, you acquiesce all rights to what she gets up to next.

Supposing on the other hand that Terry and Bridge were good friends and Terry abused that friendship by shagging the man's ex. That would be bad form. Would JT do that? Of course he would. Is it wrong? Yes.

But what if Bridge had moved on himself at that stage? Would that have changed things? Surely. Yet it keeps coming back to whether Terry betrayed Bridge's trust and that is what it is starting to look like more and more.

Still and all with Ashley Cole's injury Bridge looked odds-on to be the England full-back at the World Cup. Being English, he must think the World Cup is in the bag already which would mark the pinnacle of his career, well either that or his contract with Manchester City which made him one of the world's best paid players. Not bad for a guy who has underachieved on (and perhaps off) the pitch ever since he left his comfort zone at Southampton.

To think, it could all have been so different if Terry had signed for Man City during the summer. The whole controversy is really only scandalous because Terry himself is married and the English are obsessed with such things. If Terry was single and the same thing had happened, wouldn't the underwear model have been fair game and there is no way in hell Terry would have been stripped of the captaincy. Who knows, it might even have been true love!

As for Bridge, while I totally respect him for not shaking Terry's hand, he should really just get on with it and play for England if called upon. That's what professional footballers do.

Now if I knew the facts, I would probably have a different take but I don't and from what I know, it looks like Bridge is hiding and taking the easy way out as he so often does for Man City.